Are you good in bed? Are you always good in bed, or just in the beginning of a relationship? If you’re still racking your brain about why you can’t keep a girlfriend, keep reading because it very well might be a result of one, some or all of the 5 Biggest Sex Mistakes Men Make. Don’t worry, though; this article isn’t just going to point out your weaknesses, I’ll also teach you how to avoid these mistakes, so you’ll never lose another girlfriend again!
There is no denying that men and women struggle with communication, but that couldn’t be truer when it comes to sex. I’m mainly talking about women here, because if men are getting sex, they rarely have anything to complain about. Women, on the other hand, have a lot to say on the topic but fear that they will hurt your feelings if they coach you in getting her off. In many cases, it may just be easier for her to terminate the relationship and find someone who can rock her world without her having to tutor you throughout the process.
If you want to know how to avoid these top sex mistakes and keep her for good, I have just the advice for you.
Sex Mistake #1: You’re Selfish
Look, it’s very simple: if you give your woman high-quality sex, she’s going to want to have sex with you…again and again. And, if you’re not doing anything above and beyond “what’s required” then she will always “have a headache.” So, here’s my question to you: are you getting laid all the time? Or, has it slowed down considerably?
Yes, sex tends to slow down some after the honeymoon phase, but it should never plummet. If she never seems to be in the mood anymore or seems to avoid intimacy altogether, then chances are you’re not giving her what she needs. Let me put it this way: if you went to your favorite restaurant but they kept getting your order wrong, would you keep going? Or would you start going less and less until you eventually stop altogether?
This is like sex for a woman when it’s all about the man. If you:
- make sex all about you and getting you off;
- are not pleasing her the way she wants to be pleased (but rather ‘pleasing’ her the way you think she wants to be pleased;
- finish before she does;
- badger her into having sex with you; or
- make her feel obligated to have sex with you,
then you have given her absolutely no reason to want to have sex with you, and every reason to seek other forms of pleasure.
If any of this sounds like you and your relationship, it’s time to take a step back. Consider what is important to you and your relationship and take the proper steps to make amends. First, you need to stop making it about you and start making it all about her. Don’t worry; you’ll notice that making it all about her makes things so much hotter and will drive you (and her) wild! Keep reading for more specific steps for how to do this!
Sex Mistake #2: Skipping Foreplay
Look, grabbing her ass in the kitchen and two licks of her nipple just before you slide it in is not foreplay. That may be all you need to get going, but she requires a lot more than that. Now, I’m not necessarily talking about licking her for hours on end – because chances are she doesn’t want that either. What she wants is to feel sexy, desired, adored.
Pave the way during the day by hugging, kissing, holding hands, and sending sweet texts that show her you’re thinking of her. Have some fun together, and show you appreciate her. Refrain from anything sexual in your touch and intentions, and she will feel nothing but excitement for you. The more you ‘refrain from sexual intent, the more she will want you. Feeling safe and secure in the relationship is key for a woman to let loose during sex; even a prolonged hug will stimulate oxytocin, the hormone in women that creates a sense of connection and trust.
I know there are times where the passion is so intense you both just want to dive into it – and that’s okay – there’s a time and a place for that. But, it’s about really connecting with her, with the mood or tone of the vibe and taking your cues from that. Speaking of cues.
Sex Mistake #3: Not Listening to Her Cues
If you just open your ears and eyes, you will see that women are giving you cues and hints constantly. It’s like a cheat sheet into her psyche – it’s critical that you tap into this! When it comes to sex, save the theatrics and stop waiting for ‘your turn.’ Instead, listen to her moans – they’re a roadmap to the greatest pleasure you’ll ever experience. Watch and feel her shudders and vibrations; these will tell you that you’re hitting the right spot(s) and not to stop or change it up. And, if you’re not sure – ask for directions! Ask her how it feels or what you can do to make it better. As long as you ask, she’ll tell you!
Sex Mistake #4: Not Changing It Up
All women are different. Let me just say that again: all women are different! Just because something you did drove one woman wild, does not mean it will do the same to the next. In fact, you can almost guarantee that it won’t. And, not to complicate things too much for you, but the same woman is also different. What that means is, she’s going to like different things at different times. For example, does she have sex with you the same way sober as she does drunk? Chances are she’s much more relaxed and open to new ideas when she’s had a glass or two of wine, versus when she just gets home from work.
Just pay attention to her, listen to her cues and try different things – eventually, you’ll find something that works for her. And once you find that, linger – don’t be too quick to move on. Be sure to play around with pressure, motion, speed, and technique until you find exactly what works for her at that moment in time.
Sex Mistake #5: Giving Up On Her Orgasm
A lot of guys are clueless when it comes to giving a woman an orgasm, and she’s so fed up with trying that she fakes it; and, he’s none the wiser. Well, if you follow my advice above, then you will soon see the difference between a real orgasm and a fake one. You’ll never want to give her a fake one again!
At least 80% of women can’t orgasm through intercourse. So, you’ll either have to try to get her off by stimulating her clitoris or her g-spot – whichever she prefers. Now, if you want to make her squirt, click here for detailed tips! But, if you want to feel her orgasm while inside her, find a position that works for both of you so you can focus on her clitoris the entire time while you penetrate deep inside of her. Or take care of her first altogether. There are toys you can bring into play too! If you don’t already have any, it will be fun and super-hot to go shopping together!